“Let’s talk about who does what around the house.”
If you parent with a partner or spouse, how many times have you initiated this conversation? I’m willing to bet more than once. The fact is, more women and moms are working full-time jobs, and many are becoming the primary breadwinners of the household.
A recent Pew Research Center analysis of opposite-sex couples showed that husbands and wives are bringing in similar incomes, while wives continue to do 2 more hours of caregiving and 2.5 hours of housework. Husbands enjoy 3.5 hours more of leisure time than their wives.
This doesn’t just put a strain on these relationships, it can also negatively impact the wives’ mental and physical health.
What does an unequal division of labor look like?
Running a family and household is complex. If you’re doing this, you should give yourself the title of Chief Operating Officer. You don’t just clean the house and keep everyone fed. You’re also a social and event coordinator, which is emotional labor. You may also manage and source most new products for the household, while remembering to make doctor’s appointments and keep parent/teacher conferences.
Who needs swimming lessons? Do we need to pick up more sunscreen? When is the dentist appointment? Some of you may have partners who expertly deploy weaponized incompetence by faking helplessness or acting clueless to avoid pulling their weight. And we hate that for you.
So, what’s the solution?
Couples who try solving this problem take different approaches. One interesting approach that’s gaining popularity is the Fair Play Method. This is a methodology and approach for dividing household and family responsibilities. If you’re curious about it, you should check out this documentary about the approach. There is also a book and set of cards to facilitate the process. This dad on Tiktok shares his experience with the process. If you’ve tried it, tell us how it went!
For three more approaches for balancing your household responsibilities, click the link to read the full article.
