...by setting boundaries.

Diane N. Quintana

Certified Professional Organizer

Usually, people talk about relationships and love during the month of February because, of course, of Valentine’s Day. In the past, I’ve talked about creating spaces that are conducive to positive feelings. This February I’m talking about boundaries and how using boundaries can help you in many different aspects of your life – including relationships.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a boundary as “something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent”.

We can use this definition to help us during the year as we work each month toward fulfilling our micro-goals and achieving our intention or over-arching goals for the year.

If, for example, one of your micro-goals is to keep the family room clutter-free then one of your boundaries (or rules) may be to maintain the organization in that room.

You can help yourself by creating a habit of picking up and putting things away once a day. When you do this regularly there will not be much to do. In fact, it will probably take you less than 5 minutes.

Keeping the family room clutter-free may help with your relationships because it will be a nice place to spend time with everyone in the family.

If, for example, your micro-goal for February is to workout at the gym twice a week on Tuesday and Saturday mornings for an hour. You can put a boundary around the time you decide to spend at the gym.

It may take you 15 minutes to drive to and from the gym. If you bring clothes with you so you can shower and change before you go to your next appointment you will want to add about 30 minutes to your time spent at the gym.

If you put a boundary, schedule that time in your calendar, to protect the time you have decided to spend at the gym then the boundary is helping you achieve your fitness goal this month.

You can also use boundaries to protect time you set aside for your family, for work, for your volunteer activities or anything else you decide is important to you.

It is important to set boundaries.

It is equally important to understand that boundaries can serve as guidelines and not as unbreakable walls. There may be times when you may only have 30 minutes to spend at the gym, for instance. Or maybe you need to shift the day of the week you go to the gym one week.

Being flexible, instead of rigidly adhering to the boundary, puts you in control.

The boundaries you set are there to help you not to control you.

Use this complementary guide to help establish your own boundaries.

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Our one-hour monthly class is on Friday, February 7th at noon EST. Register before 11:00 to get the handout, Zoom link, and recording.

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Diane N. Quintana
Certified Professional Organizer

CPO®, CPO-CD®